What does freedom mean to a Mom? Does it mean we yell FREEEEDDDOOOMMM!!! like William Wallace at the top of our lungs once the kids are in bed, left with Dad or grandparents, or start school? I don’t think so because if your anything like me when those times come along, while they are great and all, you are left pacing back and forth throughout your house wondering what on Earth to do with yourself. You have become so wrapped up in your
“Mommy” role that when you are alone with yourself you are lost. Sometimes those moments are great; you know exactly what you are going to do with yourself and the time you have and that’s great my friend. All the better for you; you organized, multi-tasking, goal-oriented freak! But if you are anything at all like me, you have way too many ideas running through your head, several projects you’d love to work on, or a million things on your to-do list which need your not not so immediate attention. Guess what ladies? That’s what we do. It’s built into our DNA to be the nurtures, the Ms. Fix-It’s of everyone else’s problems whether we are good at it or not. Some of us ladies may feel the need to flat out stick our noses in and meddle in other people’s business, or you may just sit and let your mind wonder constantly about what you would or could do and it will make you crazy (if you’re more like me). While we are doing all of this we are completely forgetting to take care of ourselves. And isn’t that what we are supposed to do first before we attempt to take care of others? Put on our own oxygen mask first and then help the others with theirs.
So this is the answer we must find for ourselves, we moms, aunts, friends, co-workers, what is our “oxygen” that allows us to be free to remember (or try to figure out) who we truly? What is the thing, or things, that makes our hearts sing, makes us want to learn about, or excited to share with others? We need to find what that thing is and learn how to express yourselves. YOU have to be YOU and be able to express yourself accordingly, or else we just might lose all our marbles.
This is the huge trap I fall into. I have so many things I’m interested in I have a hard time deciding which way to turn. I can go buy all the materials and supplies with the best of intentions to sit down and be creative but rarely do I. Or the other biggie…messing the stuff up, i.e. failing. We are not failing if we are putting forth some type of an effort, but we have to take the first step because if we do nothing then that my friends is when we fail. Trust me. This is the one thing and irritates me to death. I feel I have sat around for half my life waiting for the right situation to come along and it has probably already come and gone and I missed “the magical moment.” So for instance right this very second I have created my “perfect” moment. I have spent this entire evening trying to write this post only to have lil man wake up within seconds of me putting him down. So I finally had enough sense to go get the baby carrier, which I have only had out a handful of times, (even though I bought the dang thing for these exact moments) loaded his butt up and here we sit typing away and he has finally slept for more than 5 seconds. I say I’ve won a minor victory, but then I’m also kicking myself for not getting the silly carrier out sooner. See perfect example; I accomplished something yet I’m criticizing myself at the same time.
We need to begin to tell ourselves that taking time for ourselves, exploring our interests, and spending time alone or with friends is a must in order for us to be better equipped to care for and handle the day to day stresses our lives hand us. Yes we may be a wife, mother, girlfriend, grandmother, or any other number of titles but at the end of the day we are individuals. We are the ones who have to answer those voices in our heads when they say, “”Why didn’t you write the poem you thought of? Why didn’t you grab your camera when you saw that amazing shot? Or why didn’t you pick up the book that’s been laying there forever and read it?” We, both men and women, are individuals with our own opinions and ways of expressing ourselves. So stop being so dang worried about what everyone else is doing and just be yourself. You can’t be like those other people because you are not them and they are not you. It is pointless to try and copy someone else. We will only be making ourselves even more crazy by trying to live up to unrealistic standards. We don’t know what’s going on with those people and if we did we may not want to be like them anyway. So just stopit and be you! Follow your own passions, have your own voice, express your opinions, be authentic to yourself and then my friends you may truly have the freedom in your heart and mind to finally give yourself a pat on the back and then you give those sweet babies of yours a hug.