How am I supposed to compare the real me with the online me? I honestly have no idea.
The Real Me-is an unemployed single mom with a degree that took her forever to get that she now hates, really cares what others think of her even though she tries not to let it show, doesn’t always make the goodnight call or send the text to the kids, keeps all of her thoughts and feelings to herself until she literally erupts and lashes at those closest to her (yes I’ve yelled at the kids, #TheBoys, and freaked out A.B. more than once), is extremely impatient, hates surprises and doesn’t handle change well at all (have to let that stuff sink in sometimes), is overly obsessed with how she looks and is pissed at herself for not sticking with running, its taken me a long time to swallow that chill pill (my oldest son didn’t know what to make of me when he visited), loves to be by herself a lot, has only 2 really good friends that I feel I could call and ask for almost anything and I treasure them both (if only they knew each other my world would be perfect), not unusual to still be un-showered and in pjs at 3 in the afternoon, I don’t clean this house unless it gets extremely gross and the dust bunnies start hoppin’ and/or one of Charlotte’s cousins starts building a web, the fridge is bare partly because I don’t want to go to the store other part because if there is food in this house I’ll devour it all in a matter of moments, perfectly content in front of the computer for hours at a time, eats cake icing from the can
Online Me- well now this chick has it all together, she knows how to operate her cameras, how to navigate her blog, is Mom of the year, is happy go lucky and takes everything in stride just laughing it off, has all of these posts pre-written and scheduled (not sitting here freaking out that today’s post hasn’t gone up yet), always out and about socializing, nope! rather stay home, as far as you know I’ve been writing this blog forever not putting it off for years (going back to worrying about what others think), tries to have a sense of humor and write how I would talk in real life, however I do not have much of a sense of humor about anything
I want to be as honest and sincere as possible here at the cottage whether that’s good or bad. I’m not going to sugar coat any aspect of my life, but I probably won’t share all the bad stuff either so we won’t have to worry about that anyway. It will be hard to find a good balance of what to say, share, and which pics look the best and not posting all the ones with wrinkles around my eyes or a stupid look on my face, or all the bad shots I got while out and about with the camera. You also can’t hear me yelling about the slightest little thing going wrong or me flying off the handle over what's really nothing. I’m a perfectionist and think that I should automatically be able do it all the first time and it be perfect. I don’t want to go through the learning process. I’m me why can’t I just automatically know how to do it all?! Because sister you ain’t all that take another chill pill.