I personally need to know because I do not handle it well. Whether it is a well-meaning compliment, someone blatantly pointing out my mistakes, or giving a suggestion; it makes me want to shrivel up and hide.
We all have our personal gripes with ourselves and when someone else points those out or even better finds something we didn’t even realize about ourselves it can make one feel like a complete idiot and failure.
Comment from well-meaning person, “Hey that thing you did was great, but….”
Me, “Thanks so much for pointing that out. No I honestly had no idea but thanks for making me even more self-conscious about myself and how much I screwed this up too.”
Now no I would never say such things about loud but you can guarantee that’s what’s going on inside my head and I‘m wanting to tell you off sooo bad. Because you person seem to know just exactly how to do it all even though you haven’t bothered to even try to attempt half the stuff I have. And God help us if I attempt any other things I want to. There is either going to be one ticked off, angry, even more self-conscious person and/or a hella lotta people with hurt feelings because you’ve been told off because I’ve had enough.
I spent years under someone’s thumb who criticized every last thing I did or said; good or bad, accomplishment or failure. I have not had to live like that for several years now and I have to say it is great to be able to think and actually speak up for myself. Perhaps I take that to extremes at times but I have kept a lot in for too long and gdit I’m over it. If you do not like what I have to say, or you’re going to pick it apart then don’t waste either of our time. I’m trying that’s the best I can do. Have you even bothered to try? I feel bad enough about myself I don’ need anyone else’s help.
I know what it’s like; to be a mom at 18, take 10 years to get a 4 year degree, rack up debt for a degree I am not be able to get a job with, to live well below the poverty line for my entire adult life, have to tell my kids no we can do or get that because I don’t have the extra money. It sucks. It’s emotionally and physically draining and makes you feel like you will never be able to accomplish anything in life. I have always taken one step forward only to be shoved 10 steps back. So excuse me if I finally have a little bit of courage to speak up for myself, follow through with things I’ve wanted to do and put off for far too long, and at least express some of my other hopes and dreams with others.
I know I am guilty of doing the exact same thing at times and if you are someone that I have made you feel this way about yourself I am truly sorry. I am no longer going to provide helpful feedback unless asked because it is pointless to try to encourage others who don’t really want to follow through with their plans and dreams. However, if you ask me you better be prepared for what I have to say because I’m not holding back anymore.
Don’t live vicariously through me. Go out and live for yourself, do it your own way, and I wish you all the best.